Poor Grades In School: Come To My Aid Nlders, I Need Your Advice

 Good day Nairalanders, the time I started writing this is 3:22am, whether am a popular NLder or not doesn't matter, but I would like to Conceal my identity. These would be a bit long, because I would want to explain all what is happening and has been happening to me concerning my education.

I am from the eastern part of Nigeria, and school somewhere in the south, part of the top 10 universities in Nigeria.
Back in my, Primary and Junior secondary school, I was extremely brilliant, always part of first 3, a lot of times I was 1st in class and best overall. Even my junior waec, I was so happy, people were happy for me.

The problem started in my secondary school, I noticed I started dropping, my 2nd term in SS1, I was 21/23 in class, same school, same class mates.
I thought maybe I had started playing to much, so I stopped all what I figured out could be the problem, yet there was no solution, my parents got me private teachers for my core subjects. Once they are with me, I would understand what they teach me, when they leave, I don't slack, I continue reading and reading, when exam comes, it would seem like I wasn't the one who read. A day before the exam, it would be fresh in my head and when I even write the exam, my mind would be like "you have killed it"
My parents would ask how it was, my reply would be: "yes, it was perfect, expecting the perfect result".

When I see my result, I would as usual fail virtually everything.
Still, I managed to go/forge ahead, I was able to pass my WASSCE in one sitting, how I did that I don't know, not that I passed outstandingly, I only had 'credit' in all the subject I was expect to have grade 'C'.

Then the hustle for Jamb came, let it be known that I wrote jamb 5 times, and the 5th time was when I got admitted to my school of choice.


Currently in my 200level, we resumed a new session about 2months ago. Now to what caused dis write up.

My first semester of 100level result: C, F, A, D, D.

A terrible result for someone in 100level, yes, I know. I felt too relaxed first semester, played a lot.
I determined that 2nd semester would be better, not that I was expecting all A's but I didn't want any F.
So my whole 2nd semester was reading all through, I read to the extent that I started feeling sure I should have A's in at least 3 out of 6 courses.

But when the result came in, it was worse than my first semester without me playing or getting distracted,
My 2nd semester of 100level result: C, F, C, E, C,F

And now 200level has kicked off, but something is happening to me.

I don't think I can survive this anymore,
My parents don't have money, my dad is struggling to send us to school.
None of my siblings work,
I have been contemplating different means of ending my life,
I move about with shame, I don't sleep anymore, I can't get my head straight, I would stay awake all night crying and praying for a change in my academic life.

I have done all what I think I can humanly do, hence why the thought of taking my life,
I know I can't create a life, but of what use is one that doesn't seem to make people happy?
But then, I decided to come on here, to ask if there is something else in reading I am not doing apart from, reading.... I have applied all the reading techniques applicable, jot while reading, revise, ask myself questions, and all. But still after exam, I don't seem to have that desired result, I have prayed countless times.

By my side is a chemical I got when I discovered I had 2f's. Education, they say is the best legacy. But in my case it isn't sure if it would be, I am a business oriented person, but no money to even establish myself, so that's not an option, please Nairalanders, I don't wish to Take my life, please is there anything you can suggest to me other than suicide and constant reading and prayers. I am 22years of age.

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